Well friends, or if the use of plural is no longer relevant, friend, its been a while since I posted. Whats changed? Well physically, I have a beard. A mighty beast laying on my face. A collosal being that makes me seem 18...if only I realised that it worked earlier, I would have saved so much embarrasing "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave"-ness. Its actually quite pathetic compared to some beards but oh well.
Other than the new addition to my gingerness? I guess I have realised something. I realised that there are some very real impossibilites, and that hurt. I mean hitting that wall in some aspect of your life, thats the worst feeling ever. Sometimes you get things that are hard to reach, but deep down you know, "Maybe! Just gotta keep at it! Theres a slight chance I could make it!", but when you know, theres no way at all?... cue sadness. But oh well, thats life I guess. However, despite the hopelessness, and the realisation that I need to just let it go, I can't. Despite knowing its impossible to ever get what I want, I don't want to let it go, and really, i'm not going to. Because for some fucked up reason, it gives me a reason to not curl up and fall asleep for a long time. I guess the thought of some alternate reality where I had the means to make it happen, makes me happy, very happy, because the thought of having it, however unlikely is much better than forgetting about it and having nothing. Some things are too amazing to let go. Man, im a screwed up individual, but all the chicks love a fuck up right? :|
Deep times we live in indeed. Other than the life sorting out...ness, I have been in a very creative mood lately. I have been playing my guitar for the first time in about 3 months. Ive started writing again! Its calms my libido, stops me lusting over the old men. I saw some lovely clothing items on tinternet aswell, so I may have to put in a few hints for my upcoming day of birthing. Other than that? Not much. I plan to attend a band promo shoot thingy with Kiel tomorow to help him out with it, so that should be intruiging. I am also gonna invest in a proper camera myself. As I hope that if I act like Peter Parker who is a photographer, I will get bitten by a radioactive spider and turn into...THE HULK!!!!....wait...thats not right...Silly me...I will turn into....BATMAN!!!!
But anyway, enough waffle. I shall return! WITH MORE MUSINGS!! You know you love it!!! >:D
Until then stay under 88. xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment