At least when it gets better, it will be much sweeter.....or it will still feel shit...

Urgh! Why does everyday I have seem like a bad one? I annoy myself with my constant emo moaning about my life being shite, so im sorry that I inflict this stupid personality upon the world. Once more for old times sake? :'( My life sucks!!! This will be the last time that I will moan. (But we all know thats not true...I WILL MOAN AGAIN!!! D:)

Right first off the bat, today has been a blur of Rugrats cartoons. Remember that? The cartoon about the babies? Yeah, I remembered it, and it was nice to reminisce to my child hood of watching it...until the same 5 episodes were played for 8 hours straight... :| Lewis enjoys doing that.......

Other than that, ive just been psyching myself up for my 18th...literally I have a pump...I put it up my arse and just go mental on it!! Its got me really excited for my party!!! :D

Argh. Im finding this blogging thing too hard to do. I do nothing. And anything I want to talk about just brings the mood down. :/

Im gonna leave this blog on a chipper note.....Monkey Tennis.....wouldn't that be fun?!

Maybe next time I will be chippererer.

Until then stay under 88. xxxx

If I lived till I was 102, I just don't think i'll ever get over you...

Well friends, or if the use of plural is no longer relevant, friend, its been a while since I posted. Whats changed? Well physically, I have a beard. A mighty beast laying on my face. A collosal being that makes me seem 18...if only I realised that it worked earlier, I would have saved so much embarrasing "I'm gonna have to ask you to leave"-ness. Its actually quite pathetic compared to some beards but oh well.

Other than the new addition to my gingerness? I guess I have realised something. I realised that there are some very real impossibilites, and that hurt. I mean hitting that wall in some aspect of your life, thats the worst feeling ever. Sometimes you get things that are hard to reach, but deep down you know, "Maybe! Just gotta keep at it! Theres a slight chance I could make it!", but when you know, theres no way at all?... cue sadness. But oh well, thats life I guess. However, despite the hopelessness, and the realisation that I need to just let it go, I can't. Despite knowing its impossible to ever get what I want, I don't want to let it go, and really, i'm not going to. Because for some fucked up reason, it gives me a reason to not curl up and fall asleep for a long time. I guess the thought of some alternate reality where I had the means to make it happen, makes me happy, very happy, because the thought of having it, however unlikely is much better than forgetting about it and having nothing. Some things are too amazing to let go. Man, im a screwed up individual, but all the chicks love a fuck up right? :|

Deep times we live in indeed. Other than the life sorting out...ness, I have been in a very creative mood lately. I have been playing my guitar for the first time in about 3 months. Ive started writing again! Its calms my libido, stops me lusting over the old men. I saw some lovely clothing items on tinternet aswell, so I may have to put in a few hints for my upcoming day of birthing. Other than that? Not much. I plan to attend a band promo shoot thingy with Kiel tomorow to help him out with it, so that should be intruiging. I am also gonna invest in a proper camera myself. As I hope that if I act like Peter Parker who is a photographer, I will get bitten by a radioactive spider and turn into...THE HULK!!!!....wait...thats not right...Silly me...I will turn into....BATMAN!!!!

But anyway, enough waffle. I shall return! WITH MORE MUSINGS!! You know you love it!!! >:D

Until then stay under 88. xxxx

I will blog again......YOU CANNAE STOP ME!!

Ok, I have decided that since I get one reader, some little weirdo...can't remember her name, my blog shall continue. Even if it is one, thats still enough for me to keep on typing.

Ok, so what have I been up to? Well, other than the usual mix of food, games and animal sex, I have done much, when i say much I mean little, but hey! whats a 17 year old straight gay guy supposed to do?

I spent the evening with Danielle last night, which some would say was weird, us being exes and shizzle...we should traditionally be killing each other, but in actual fact shes one of my best friends, even if it is because she knows everything about me. :P But seriously, I will miss her when she goes off to Portsmouth and starts her diet of sailors semen. xD

In other news, I have found that I really enjoy Eminem, which , if you actually know me...is quite shocking. I plan to become a rapper in the same way he has. I will be called Snickers and Mars bar....sounds gangster right...yeah...you know it!!!

Its also only 8 days until my birthday, which is quite awesome...but I can see it now. I turn 18 and I will never go out...I swear even if I have to go out on my own...I am getting my times worth of my new found legality. I am looking forward to my party, as it stands, there are apparts 60 people coming. :S Who the fuck are they?! i dont know...but hey I plan to be drunk so I will probably be on my own in my head...just me...with the Go Compare man.....slow dancing to "Forever Young", the spotlight on us..... "Forever young, i wanna be forever young"........... :| sorry spaced out there.

Anyway, thats all I gots to say right now. I shall be back with another post for all of my avid readers!!! i love you all!! ITS SO AMAZING!!!! THE WAY YOU ALL SUPPORT ME!!! OH GOD!!! I LOVE YOU!!! D':

Till then stay under 88. xxxx

I needed a wee when I wrote this...

Today, I went to my fathers for the first time in about a month. It was pleasant, my little brother is like a mini hulk...its scary. Im pretty sure he could take my head off, if he wasnt so scared of me...not good when your brother is scared of you. Anyway, other than that, I decided I shall attempt once more to grow a full beard. Last time I tried, I cocked it up by shaving it in the style of a Jason Derulo retard helmet type beard. This time, I shall not make the same mistake. Its going well, although I am hoping it doesn't turn ginger...as I may have to cut my face off to remove the sadness my chin will express to me.

This isn't me...this is a black man named Jaaaasoooon Deruuuulooooo. But I put this picture up to illustrate his shit beard...it is the worst beard of all time!! Agree, as I am right...Tell you one thing...if he wasn't a famous guy, the loving he would be gettin would be, "In His Head" with that beard. Look how it blends with his head...it doesn't look real!!! >:O ANGRY NOISES!!!!!

By the by, I am not sure that anyone actually reads this blog. To save me from writing a blog that noone reads, if I don't receive at least two comments just to say, "I read this!!" or something, on this blog by Thursday, I will cease to write this blog, as I have much more important things to do....like dinosaur hunting......and my gymnastics... :|

In lighter news, I have found myself liberated from underwear for the past 4 days, i've been letting it hang loose.....yeah...got a nice image there now haven't ya. >:D (I was joking, I still wear clothes). I don't know why I did that........ :/

Anyway, I leave you now with one final image...........beavers on ice......its the future.

Stay under 88. xxxx

People shouldn't fly, they aren't birds....they are people....and people don't fly...

Well, today has been an adventure through my stomach...mainly for whatever I have eaten. It was the first time I went to Thorpe Park in about 10 years, last time I went Tidal Wave was new and I didn't even go on it....as it was too high and too scary for me. So today, I figured "ha, you know...this will be a eeeeeeaaaasy..im taller, im hunkier ;) and im older...therefore wiser too know I am safe in these things :D".......HOW FUCKING WRONG I WAS!!!! While many people find the little occurence of shooting at 80 mph to about 205ft in the air, invigorating, exciting, and fun...I DONT!...I have never screamed so much in my life!!! D: Don't get me wrong...after I was like...that was cool.....but at the time...no, just no...die now Jacob...cause at least you will not have to endure this horror much longer. But hey ho, I got used to it and all in all it was a good day....with the excpetion, of my throat, my hair...and acccoridng to Hannah, Dan, Jess, and Jason...my FACE! Its scary!! Its hard to look normal when your scared!!! But anyway...whats the deal with all the wasps in that place!! If I wasn't being flung round on Samurai, I was being chased by a fucking cunting wasp!! An arguably scarier experience. Other than that, the day was filled with many "wet" jokes, and me taking anything Jess said to mean Lukes penis...as you do.

I got home drenched, and decided...this is the perfect time to try on my swim trunks so I will know what they look like wet...I tried them on but my package was too big for them... < This is unrelated to everything...and didn't actually happen...I have no swimming trunks.

What I actually did when I got home was change, wash to get the fanny smelling water off me, and eat. Tonight, I am going to watch a filmage, probably "The Forth Kind", as I am in an alieny mood after last nights lights in the sky shenanigans. Other than that, i'm probably gonna be off the grid for a while, my mood is being trippy, and I need to assess my life and sort out shizzle....and evaluate my penis. (Is it worth inflicting that much pleasure upon the world...when there are too many women for me to possibly get to? Cause you know...i'm a pimp.) Anyway, until next time friends, stay under 88. xxxx

Lemon Stew and De Ja-Vu...

I am literally in my own personal Groundhog day. I seem to do the same thing every day. I wake up, I sit downstairs for about an hour before finally getting up and eating then I wash and prepare myself for more sitting....then I save the world from a robot space Nazi with a large penis named Christoph Fajita-muncher...its getting really monotomous!!...if thats the right word.

But no, seriously, my good mood has carried over from yesterday making this rather slow day less slow. I have discovered the joys of cheesy salmon!! I fing that anything with the word, "cheesy" prefixed to it, always seems a little...eeww (unless your into that sort of thing), but lest IS THAT SOME NICE CHEESINESS I SEE THERE???!!!..indeed it is....almost...it wasn't that great..it was just better than I thought it would be. Other than eating and watching Sherlock...which rocks by the way...I looked after my cousin...again...however, it wasn't as fun filled as normal as he turned against me after I told him he couldn't tip out every toy he owned on the floor...apparently, I am no longer cool...and I warrrant a thumbs down...his worst insult. :P But hey ho, he was fine after a while, especially after I told him that at my party he wouldn't be the little boss, as he believes there are 3 tiers of managament at parties, and each tier gets and increasingly larger dinosaur, with which they assert their dominance. He wants a T-Rex. xD In other news, I found a manky bruise above my left nipple...either im getting stealth nipple crippled, or my subconcious sleeping state is into some really kinky shit!! D: But its fine...a little bruising comes with life.......and nipple pinching.

This makes me lol...so I share the loladge...

Anyway, thats all I have for you today. i'm thinking that I should wait until I have a substatial amount to say before writing this blog...but then I would have nothing to do...so I will continue to write shite! AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! >:D....well, you could stop reading I suppose.... :/ Anyway, tis all from me folks. Until next time, stay under 88. xxxx

Sadness and regret and goals that are never met....IM HAPPY!! :D

Well, what to say...after possibly the shittiest few days, at least feeling shitty rather than shitty things happening, I am finally starting to feel happier...WOOO!!*Victory dance*

Things are looking up, it is just over 2 weeks until I turn 18, the head count for my party is possibly 70...I didn't think I knew that many people, and I finally am starting to get a grip on shizzle....like my wang...its a crazy monster sometimes that Clive. (I want to take this oppotunity to say that if you are offended by any mention of penis in my blog....than you should just go fuck yourself....COCK!) :) But im guessing a majority of you reading this will love a bit of meat. ;) Thats crude....im sorry. I also want to take this time to mention my amazing sis, Jessica Miller...not because penis reminded me of her, I just felt it was relevant to the overall theme of the paragraph..... :| She has asked me how I am like every day for about a week, she even realised I felt shit...BEFORE I realised I felt shit...now thats good. Some may say thats creepy, and nosy.....and it is! :P I joke. It made me feel loved and I thank her. Shes a gorgeous, awesome dwarf and I love her mucho. :) (Danielle Pullin is pretty awesome too, she offered to buy me doughniuts. :D)

Anyway, what have I been up to? Hmm..well, today I stayed home to look after my little cousin again. He watched Hercules again...and again...and again... :/ But hey...tis all good, its a good film. He then watched the Wizard of Oz...to which I got out my Cowardly Lion costume and sang and danced and forgot my troubles...he then turned it off....... I planned on attending another afternoon out with the gays..I mean guys, but something came up and I had to take a rain check.....get it cause it was raining xD ...I crack my self up...literally...my penis just split... :/ But despite staying in, I was alright. I ate some cupcakes, I played some Bioshock 2. The whole staying in thing doesn't depress me anymore....the way I see it...im building up momentum for when I do start going out. >:D Other than that there isn't much to report. I have a quiet life, I enjoy interlectual things, like hamster wrestling. I started writing my book...thats an interesting development...its called "How To Keep Your Sex Life Fresh When You Have No Genitals."....its gonna be a hit. There are many people out here that suffer from "Genitallackeritus" and they want lovin' too!!! Anyway, i've trundled on enough, I have nothing to really say...kinda a handicap for someone with a blog, but i'll keep trying to keep people interested...I got a feeling i'll have something good to say aaaaany day now. :)

And on that bombshell, stay under 88. xxxx